The grief of expectation.
This week has been a struggle....and the end of the week an even greater struggle. My grandmother is very ill; dying as the doctor said with either 2 days or 2 months to live. The family, having to come together did not really come together as we all grappled with the serious decision to take my grandmother off of life support. We all fought the doctors and I could not help feeling angry by the process of finding out from the doctors what was what; the lack of empathy from people from work; the varying degrees of misunderstanding between the family members, not to mention the headache of denial that this is really happening; and the pending doom that no matter what is decided in terms of additional health care, my 97-1/2 grandmother may expire anyway. Her extension could mean a lesser quality of life though it keeps her in the land of the living. Or God could miraculously heal her from double pneumonia Or she could pass away in her sleep with the tube in her mouth. The uncertainity of death is exasperating and I am tired, angry, sad and grieved all at the same time.
Twice I yelled at some contractors doing work on the house on yesterday.....
I laughed a couple of times at silly movies on TV with a tear in my heart
I cried and screamed myself to sleep on Thursday night...
I went into work for a couple of hours on Friday and didn't want to be there, but also didn't want to lose my momentum on a project I"m working on...and angry that I care so much....
I went to church today and was somewhat encouraged but not really comforted...
I have tears in my soul.....where words cannot be expressed.
And Yet, I keep singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness".....because God is faithful no matter how I feel....feelings are not facts you know and yet they are so real...
And I have to still do warfare against our enemy, the devil who always looks for an opportunity while you are down to tempt you to do, say or think something you have no business doing...
Pray for me today. And know, that anticipatory grief feels just like real grief....it is the grief of "watchfulness"...the waiting for the call; the finding out when will it happen - where will I be....and all of that kind of stuff....But I believe that God is faithful and will keep my heart doing this season of "new" grief....
I am praying for others who have lost loved ones today as well...My heart goes out to you.
Today, I must encourage myself in the Lord.
Peace,
Verinda
God will turn the bitter experiences of our lives to pleasant testimonies of His comfort
A Scripture Verse
Jesus said, "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted", Matthew 5:5, King James Version (Cambridge Edition)
About Our Ministry
Naomi’s Ministry is Christian blog designed to provide encouragement, strength and prayer to individuals who are experiencing loss, grief and recovering from traumatic experiences.
This blog site is to encourage, pray and support persons experiencing a wide range of losses that anyone of us may experience in our lifetime. The parting of a special loved one by death; divorce; the loss of job and financial security; the loss of limb(s) or debilitating illness or disease; the loss of a home or opportunity, are all "losses" and at varying degrees, may catapult you into a grieving cycle or traumatic event. However, we may not be on the road to recovery, if the right resources are not available to give us perspective on our feelings and the changes that happens in one’s life when a loss of any kind occurs. We need courage to grieve and to wait before God for the healing that comes, sometimes, one day at a time.
This is "first" a ministry of encouragement:
Know that what you are going through is normal for anyone who has experienced what you have experienced. Knowing how to go through the process, recognizing when you are grieving and seeking the help you may need will aid in the recovery process.
Know that it is okay that you are hurting. No explanations are needed. Admitting that is a first step toward your recovery. Recovery does not mean that you will forget the one or object of your loss. This also does not mean you will not forget the trauma of your victimization. Emotional healing will allow you to live authentically, freely, victoriously in spite of the event. God wants you to have His Victory through His Son, Jesus Christ who won it on the Cross of Calvary for you and I.
Know that you are not alone. Jesus Christ promised never to leave us or forsake us (The book of Hebrews, chapter 13, verse 5). This promise found in the Holy Scriptures is a promise from the Lord Himself that He is always with us, even during our darkest nights. Jesus also said, “I will not leave you comfortless” (The book of the Gospel of John, chapter 14, verse 18).
Know that “The Comforter will come” (The book of the Gospel of John, chapter 16, verse 7). The Comforter that Jesus Christ is referencing is God the Holy Spirit, (part of the triune Godhead). As you call out to God in faith during this time of tremendous emotional and sometimes physical pain, the Lord will send His Spirit to minister to your mind, body, soul and spirit. He alone can heal the hurts of loss, grief and trauma. The Holy Spirit will wipe away "your tears". Jesus "is willing" to heal you if you but ask and trust Him in the process of recovery.
Know one day you will be able to smile again. The sun will shine in your heart again. You will laugh again. You will have more good days to come. The Lord knows the thoughts and plans he has for us (Jeremiah 29:11), even if you cannot see it in the midst of this defining moment. If you will trust the Lord’s plans for you, you will come through this season, whole and able to continue on in your life’s journey.
Search out a safe and Word-filled church home or fellowship, counselor/support group. God’s Word is the answer. Read Psalms 34, 41, 42, 91, 103, 107, 112, 119, 121, 123, 140, 145. Depending on our needs, we may also need some assistance beyond what a blog, book or cards offer. Professional help is available. Pray and ask the Lord to direct you to a place of healing and confidentiality. Check out the resources at your church or another Christ-centered congregation. Please do not grieve alone.
The time for recovery is NOW. Just like you would go to the hospital’s emergency room if you were physically in need of medical treatment, so during high levels of emotional crisis, you should not wait to seek help or assistance. DON’T WAIT TO GET HELP. This is the time to admit that you are hurting and it is okay.
Keep talking to God the Father, the Father of ALL Comfort. He knows your grief and the journey ahead. Also believe that He loves you even when you are sad. This ministry is reaching out to you with Jesus' love. We are praying for your total healing and recovery.
If you are interested in receiving prayer, please write me at: jesusislord14@outlook.com. Please do not request money - request prayer.
God loves you. We are praying you will feel His love and comfort every time you reach out to read the messages.
Jesus THE SON OF GOD is Lord!
Shalom.
Sister Birdsong
No comments:
Post a Comment